Things Not to Say

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THON Resource Center™
The HG Care Hub™

Family Toolkit · Communication Guide

Things Not to Say — and What to Say Instead

Almost everyone who says the wrong thing about HG means well. This page exists so that good intentions land the way they were meant to.

For: Family, friends, colleaguesRead: 5 minutesFormat: Letter · share freely

Why this page exists

Women with Hyperemesis Gravidarum describe the loneliness of being disbelieved as one of the hardest parts of the condition — sometimes harder than the physical illness. The phrases below are not offensive on their face. They are the ordinary things people say. But each one, in this context, quietly communicates: this is not as serious as you say it is.

Minimizing

Try not to say

Say this instead

"Morning sickness is just part of pregnancy."

"This is not morning sickness. I understand it is a medical condition."

"At least it means the hormones are strong."

"I am sorry. There is nothing about this that is lucky."

"My sister had it and she was fine."

"I do not know what this is like for you. Tell me."

"Are you sure it is that bad?"

"I believe you."

Advising

Try not to say

Say this instead

"Have you tried ginger, crackers, acupressure bands?"

"You have probably tried everything. I will not add to the list."

"You just need to eat something."

"I will leave something within reach for whenever you can."

"You should get outside more."

"Would it help if I sat with you, or would you rather rest?"

"Try not to think about it."

"You do not have to pretend with me."

Blaming

Try not to say

Say this instead

"You are too anxious — that is why you are sick."

"This is biological. It is not something you brought on yourself."

"Some women just cope better with pregnancy."

"You are coping with something most people never face."

"Think positive for the baby."

"You do not owe anyone positivity. Just get through today."

"You have to keep it together."

"You are allowed to fall apart. I am still here."

Dismissing what comes after

Try not to say

Say this instead

"You will forget all of this."

"However long recovery takes, I am staying with you."

"At least it is over now."

"How are you actually doing, now that everyone stopped asking?"

"You should be enjoying the baby."

"It is possible to love your baby and still be recovering."

Four sentences that always help

·"I believe you."

·"This is not normal pregnancy sickness, and you deserve treatment."

·"I am bringing dinner Thursday — no need to see me."

·"I am not going anywhere."

THON Reflection

You do not need the right words. You need to be believed by the people around you — and that only ever takes plain language and staying.

If you have already said one of these, you have not damaged anything permanently. Say something different next time. That is all any of this asks.

Part of the THON Family Toolkit™ · Evidence-informed · Last reviewed July 2026 · Next review January 2027
This resource is educational and does not replace the advice, diagnosis, or treatment of a physician or another qualified healthcare professional. If she cannot keep fluids down, feels faint, or you believe this is an emergency, contact her provider or seek emergency care. © 2026 The House of Nirvana · thehouseofnirvana.org · info@thehouseofnirvana.org · You are not alone.